Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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