And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
