the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
