They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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