I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
