You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
