I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
