This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
