BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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