He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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