this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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