Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The air was thick with penises
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
