Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We need to feng shui this bitch.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
