Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
