I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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