FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
