u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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