She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
