Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
