Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
