speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
