I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Randomize
