like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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