Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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