His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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