She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
