You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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