C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
