what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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