great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
