ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
