Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
