It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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