Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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