on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
