How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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