and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
