get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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