i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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