So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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