Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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