So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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