You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is it penis luge time yet?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize