Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
