More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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