I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i think i just lost a toe
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
