My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
