the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sarcasm needs its own font
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
