I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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