yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
