We're facebook friends in real life
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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