yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
