I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize