I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
