I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
