I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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