Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
