You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
