you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
