So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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