Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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