So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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