I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Randomize
