The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
