We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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