Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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