i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
