i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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